I remember Mr Crabtree goes fishing.

I remember a man who used to entertain the queues outside the London Palladium by jumping over a matchbox.

I remember "WPc Sadie Stick, hit me again with your big black stick, I'll have a word with you when I find my dic - tionary," words from a song by Mike Absalom which I probably only heard once, when I visited my estranged wife's cousin in Salisbury.

I remember a fabulous ride on horseback in an unspoilt part of Majorca where we were staying on holiday. Soon after we returned home I had a riding lesson in Coombe and was put down by a rather snotty teacher so never rode on a horse again.

I remember chimney sweeps.

I remember Five Boys chocolate. It had pictures on the wrapper of a boy or boys with different expressions on their faces.

I remember hearing someone knock at the door and being told, when I asked who it was, that it was someone who said: "Children should be seen and not heard".