I remember JJ in assembly saying you should always have the right money with you for the bus. Also talking about a boy who had died while running for a bus, saying he was the sort of boy 'who ran for the bus'. Like it was a good thing.

I remember being told by Butch Key that we were 'standing on the touchline of life'. Like it was a bad thing.

I remember Mrs Newsome, my primary school head teacher, denouncing scrumping for apples - which someone had been stupid enough to do in school uniform.

I remember my cornet teacher. His name was Mr Meek. I think his first name was Eric. He had a very good embouchure. But he also had a moustache, which I used to think would get in the way of his trumpet playing.

I remember a history lesson in which Colin Prince talked about an auto-da-fe. I still don't know what it means.